Untitled

reasonsishouldhatemyself:

I’ve been told that hating peanut butter is morally questionable at best and un-American at worst. Who the fuck doesn’t like peanut butter? I mean, if you like peanuts, what’s wrong with peanut butter, you fucking weirdo?

Well, I never liked it. I especially never liked it with chocolate. I have never enjoyed a Reese’s cup in my life (I’ll take my sweet and salty separately, thank you). I especially do not like peanut butter ice cream, peanut butter cookies, or (ugh!) peanut butter cake. I hate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, too. But peanut butter never grossed me out until about ten years ago.

When I was 13ish, and my sister was around five years old, she would eat peanut butter by the spoonful and toss the PB-smothered spoon into a pot soaking in the sink. She’d do this in the morning, and I’d get to it when I did the dishes after dinner. Have you ever encountered peanut butter that’s been soaking in soapy water for like eight hours? It is the foulest-smelling, most disgusting substance on earth. It was my responsibility to smear this water-logged paste off the spoon. Mine and mine alone. First world problem? Yeah, whatever.

There. That’s it. That’s why the smell of peanut butter makes me gag. The idea of it in my mouth, sticky and gooey, clinging to my palate…I…you know, I don’t have the words for it. Just writing this is making me want to puke. Fuck this.

You are not alone.  I am comming out to you as a peanut butter hater!  Although, I have different reasons…